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"Make It A Great Date!”

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Make it a Great Date!

3 Tips for Positive Dating

Entering the world of dating? Or have you been there for a while... ? Are you dreading getting “set up” again? Are you nervous? Clueless about what to do on a date? Dreading disappointment? Not sure what to think? Annoyed that someone is telling you how to do something that you know how to do well? Then pass this on to friends who would appreciate these thoughts. 

The following 3 points are good foundations for  positive dating experiences. If you can gain new perspective in any way from these following points, then this will prove to be a worthile read.

Reset your mindset. Reprogram your “how- to- date” mode.

Follow these 3 tips to positive dating:

1. It will be a Successful Date: Change your mindset about meeting a new "date". You have the opportunity to meet a new person. Learn more about the person. In general, if you have a positive focus, then time will fly unexpectedly.  Even if you don’t want to go out a second time, at least you will have had a nice time, you will have a new "connection" and you will have made a nice impression. Who knows? Maybe this “date” will set you up with their sibling, cousin or friend! Who knows? Maybe you will actually see that you clicked with your date and you both may actually want to go out again! Cool!

2. Do your homework: think (in advance) about events in your life that you want to discuss, activities and goals that you want to share which make you special;  relationships with family, teachers, friends, colleagues which are unique and worthy of sharing, hobbies which are fun to discuss, scan the news, events in your area for fun conversation, etc.. Dates are enjoyable when you come prepared. You want your date to know why you are special and what sets you apart from "everyone else".

3. Learn More. Ask More. “Why go out again?” Ask yourself this question when you first meet your date. Not after. Be a good listener and learn about your date: On the date, focus on learning what makes this person special. What do you want to know about this person? Do you know anything about their family? Job? Community? Daily routine? Interests? Comfortable conversations begin with active listening skills, eye contact, and speaking clearly and effectively. If you don’t learn about your date, then when you come home it will be too late. You will not know enough about them and they will think you weren't interested enough in them.

Which one of these dating tips helped you most?

True. You want your dating experience to be "natural" and fun. You will see that it is a combination of the right attitude and of course being "set up" with an appropriate match.

Do you want to learn more about "how to date" successfully? Click here:

Do you want Daniella to "set you up" with someone appropriate? Enter Daniella Rudoff's  MarriageArchitect "Networking for Singles" Database by meeting with Daniella by clicking here.

Daniella Rudoff offers singles who are interested in getting married a private consultation in person or on skype. Daniella wants to get to know you and the type of person you want to marry. Next, Daniella introduces you to a suitable match;  either immediately or when she meets the right person for you. Daniella sets up singles all around the world.

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Looking forward! :)

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When do you forgive?

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When do you forgive...?

Are you still angry about the time your spouse* forgot to...
... take out the garbage?
... help with the kids?
... make dinner?
... wish your Mother a Happy Birthday?
... buy you a Birthday gift?
... pay the water bill?
... ________________________?

Go ahead. Fill in the blank. What are you angry about today?

People always ask me why I seem so happy or “chilled out” all the time. Don’t worry! I am human.  I do get upset and frustrated just like everyone else. The difference is that I discovered an incredible life skill a long time ago. If you want to enjoy your life, then value each moment and realize it will never return. Therefore, you want to live as many meaningful moments with the people you love and do what you need/ want to do with the right attitude and positive perspective. Realize that not every moment is sitting peacefully at a family dinner or on a relaxing vacation. Mundane chores and challenges are part of The Dream. Think carpools, laundry, working, paying the bills, etc... Right now, I am going to discuss the challenge that you are feeling. You are feeling frustration or anger about something. The issue: ___________ is the challenge.

Overcoming challenges is part of The Dream. Staying in the challenge is not.

How can we overcome the challenge?
Discuss it with the person with whom you are angry in a respectful way. Get it out of your system. All of it. Do each of you understand what went wrong? Good. Apologies needed? Apologize. Done. Now... here is the key to successful relationships. Accept the apology. Completely accept the apology. Love again. Do not “kitchen sink” next time you have an argument. This means: DO NOT BRING UP THIS TOPIC AGAIN! “Kitchen Sink”ing can “sink” your relationship. Get over it. Done. Got it? Chill out. It can take some time. Is it easy to let go of this negative feeling? NO. Learn to. It will make you a happier person in general. It will solidify your relationship.

Do you need a visual and a physical technique? Imagine your challenge; your anger and frustration as a bubble blowing up inside your lungs. It can hurt. The longer it stays in, the larger it grows. Get it out of you. Don’t keep it inside. It is stressing you out. Learn to talk about it. Talking about it gets the bubble out of your body. Now, blow away your challenge. Literally, for some of you. Blow it away. That means it is gone. Both sides must understand that this means that the “other person” has apologized and there is trust that they will do everything in their capability to not allow such a thing to happen again. Why? Because they LOVE you. They want for you to be happy. If you want to strengthen your foundation together, then FORGIVE.

Learning to forgive is good for you, for your spouse* and for your relationship.

*This technique also applies if you are feeling frustrated or angry with your parent, in-law, sibling, child, boss, etc.. Though, you may want to discuss things differently with different types of relationships.
Please note: This advice is regarding typical and “normal” frustrations and behaviors. Not one of the Top Ten Commandments- if you know what I mean! :)

Did this blog help you? Please send your comments to:

Daniella Rudoff is the Marriage Architect. Daniella is a Marriage Educator and Dating Educator/ Mentor. Daniella also “Networks for Singles”. Take a MarriageArchitect course.

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BTW-If you press any of the social media icons below, or above, then you will be sharing this post with your friends. You never know who you will be helping in their relationships. :)
Thank you for sharing!

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Learn to Prioritize

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Learn to Prioritize

Do people ask you: How do you manage? How do you balance? How do you do so many things?
The list is endless. Any person knows the deal; shopping, cooking, cleaning, family, work, exercise, and social life. Life is busy.
Any parent knows that the deal changes once you add one child to the mix. Do that a few more times and a few more times. You get the picture. Life is really busy.
Ideally, you would have 24 hours for each hour in the day, but it doesn’t work that way.

I often hear people asking me this question:
How can you possibly get so much done?

The answer: learn to prioritize.

  • Clarify your long term and short term goals in life
  • Do only what you can do.
  • Do what you want to do to in order to achieve your goals.
  • Delegate the rest.

Micro-managing is understandable, but certainly not effective enough. Think about it. You may not be the most suitable person to do each task on your list. You may not want to do each task on your list.

What about "everything else"?

  • Make immediate decisions of what must be done and what can be pushed off or done by someone else. Keep your goals in mind.
  • Schedule long term projects into your schedule. (Think Pesach!)
  • Accept that you can not do it ALL. Move on. Shocking!

What do you absolutely need to prioritize into your day?

1. Yourself- Schedule yourself into your day. I can almost promise you that no one else will schedule you into your day, except maybe your spouse. Think to yourself what it is that makes you feel complete and true to yourself. Think about your spiritual and physical goals. Family is the next number one. But, as you know the famous analogy, one must put on their air mask on an airplane before putting it on their child. The same applies here. You must take care of your basic needs, either daily or at some points during your week. Then taking care of and spending time with family feels better. Think: exercise, eating a well balanced diet, prayer, spending time with a good friend... only you have control over how you treat yourself/ your body. Hey Moms! How about going to the bathroom. Heard of that? Oh yeah! Only you can do that for yourself, too.

2. Family- spouse, children- In terms of your relationship with your family: Did you have a conversation with each person in your family today? Did you look them in the eye while you spoke with each of them? Do you know what they are wearing today? Did you share a smile? A hug? If the answer is “yes” to all or most of these questions, then you are awesome! If not, then there is always... right now or tomorrow! Prioritize having your family's basics available for them: clean clothing, food, school items, they are doing well in school and with their friends and lots of love. Understand them.

3. Household - Shopping for food. We all know that we are in the store way too often. We all seem to confess to each other on line how this may have been the 3rd time we are at the store today. I am learning that one huge shopping each week and maybe one or two additional quick stops in the shop do it for me. A few times, I tried not shopping because I thought that we had enough food to hold us over and I was just way too busy. Big mistake. I had a bunch of cranky people living with me. Shopping for food is a priority.

Cooking doesn’t have to take over your life. There are basic strategies to make it simple and easy. It just takes a little planning and of course, time. Keep frozen chicken, ground meat/ turkey, fish, etc.. in the freezer for dinners. The key is to remember to defrost it starting first thing in the morning. It will be ready at 4pm to prepare for dinner. Tip: Otherwise, put the frozen food in a pot of cold water. It will defrost much faster. :) BTW- Don’t forget to cook dinner! It’s almost as bad as not having food in the house.

Cleaning and Laundry- do your best! This is something that you can easily delegate, if you can afford it. Don’t micromanage here. If someone else can clean for you, then just say “thank you!”

4. Work: As I said before, do what only you can do and delegate the rest! Decide what you need to do to manage and grow your business. Decide what tasks you shouldn't be doing, in order to get to your end goal much faster. Tip: There are at least two types of attitudes about work. Those who love their work and those who do their job because they must. As I say to my kids about school or a class they don’t enjoy-
“If you have to do it, you might as well enjoy it!!” Quality of life is all about your attitude.

There are definitely many more priorities that you may have in your life. What are they?
Make sure to do them today.

I would love to hear your comments! You can leave comments in the contact page:

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Are you crying about your weight?

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Are you crying about your weight?

It was intense. I had a conversation with a person, recently, regarding dieting. This person was consistently gaining weight and was frustrated with the dieting process.
“It’s unfair that I can’t eat whatever I want!”
“I try so hard to be “good” and it doesn’t help!”
“I don’t want to be limited to certain kinds of food!”
“I am not interested in exercising!”
“I am not motivated to exercise!”
and the list goes on...

Can you relate to these feelings? Do you know someone who is drowning in these negative emotions? This is some people’s reality.
This is certainly reminiscent to the time when I gained a LOT of weight during my first pregnancy. I seriously thought I was eating for two and I was absolutely confident that every extra ounce was going to be pushed out with the baby. Wow! I was definitely in for a surprise! Just as much as my new, beautiful baby girl was going to change my status to becoming a  Mother and a proud one at that, I also went through a life changing experience: understanding and accepting weight loss and weight management as a way of life.

This is how I see it.
Weight loss for someone overweight is HEALTHY. Losing weight is necessary. It is important to learn portion control, good food choices, how to “cheat on your diet”, to have a healthy and positive perspective on dieting, to understand that it takes time to lose weight and to understand how to lose weight successfully. It is not extreme. It is what you need to do to live responsibly. It is what you need to do to feel good about yourself and to look good. It’s being in control.
Exercise is HEALTHY for all types of people; overweight individuals, people who are either naturally thin or who are in maintenance mode.
My friends say they don’t feel motivated to exercise. I don’t wait to feel motivated to exercise. Exercise is just something that I need to do. I need to fit it into my schedule. I prioritize it into my day/week.

Note: A naturally slim person contacted me about how to stay motivated without having the need to lose weight. I gave her some suggestions which worked for her. If you would like these tips, then let me know!

So what do you tell a person who you completely identify with in their struggles and challenges about weight loss?
Not easy. Of course, you empathize. You explain your journey and your emotions.

It seems to be the exception, rather than the rule for someone to lose the extra weight.

After working long and hard to lose a significant amount of weight after each of my 7 children were born, I can share with you what has worked for me.

This is one secret: (Though, I have many secrets on this topic!)
Identify how you want to live your life. See yourself as that person.
In that picture, are you thin, very heavy, or a few pounds overweight?
Are you healthy? Are you energetic? Are you happy? Are you positive?

Now, be that person.

Do everything it takes to be that person who you want to be. Now.
This is regarding every aspect of your life; dieting and exercise, your relationships, your profession, your spirituality, your leisurely time, your attitude.

Back to your weight loss:
Keep in mind that one of three things will happen this week:
1. You will stay the same weight.
2. You will lose weight!!!
3. You will gain weight.

Which one will it be? 1, 2, or 3?

Envision who you want to be. Envision how you want to appear. Eat and Exercise accordingly.
Understand and Accept your Commitment to a Healthier Eating and Exercise Lifestyle.
You will no longer be crying about your weight.
Soon you will be smiling.

I am happy to help you smile sooner. :)


I am delighted to help you smile about your relationships, too!

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3 Reasons to “Slow Down”!

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When is it crucial for even busy people to slow down?

For many of you who know me well, you know that I don’t stop for a second. Unless, of course, my body protests or I “force” myself to stop.  Do you stop? Why would anyone who has a large family, runs a household, grows 2 businesses, gives lectures, has a social life, exercises, does 5 carpools on any given day  and works on creating loving relationships have time to slow down? Much less, discuss slowing down. I am speaking to myself, as much as I am raising awareness and speaking to you.

The following points are when my brain sends out signals or warning signs to stop or slow down! This is when I "force" myself to listen:

1. Create Meaningful Moments. Stop and smell the roses. Carpe Diem. Sometimes you have to put work or house first, but brilliance is knowing when to slow down and spend time enjoying yourself with your family and friends. It’s all about balance. It’s also knowing when your spouse or child needs you most. It’s knowing when family members and good friends come to visit and stopping even important work items to spend quality time with them. Capture these moments in your memory.

Tip: Stop what you are doing when your someone special walks in the door. Look at your spouse or your child in the eye, say “hello”, speak about your day together even if it’s for two minutes. Priceless.

2. Safety First. While driving and especially during this rainy season, I remind myself, “You’ll get there when you get there. Better to get there.” Slow down.

Tip: Take driving time as an opportunity to spend quality time with your spouse or with your children. It’s all in your attitude. If you are stuck in traffic with your spouse, then consider it a great date;  time to catch up and enjoy each other's company. While doing carpools, take time to speak with your children. Teach them life lessons and driving skills based on the events going on around you.

3. Sleep. Why? Not sure. A reminder that we are human. A time for our bodies to recharge. I have learned to absolutely force myself to stop and get some sleep. I don’t want to miss a beat tomorrow. There is so much to do!

Don’t let life pass you by.
Live in the moment.
Live a meaningful life.
Jam pack your schedule, but be aware to slow down for these 3 reasons.

I love hearing your comments! Please leave your comments in the contact page:

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